Tuesday, June 26, 2012

You know in three months...

In three months, my life is going to look different.  The limbo of the last two years will possibly be gone.  We will be living in a new city, new job for me, new home, new daycare for our son, and hopefully a new outlook.

Life.....has.....been......challenging.  I've shut down.  In almost every sense.  I'm numb.  I don't do well with change.  I never have.  It's my personality and my quirk about myself.  I crave structure, routine, and structure again.  While others crave new beginnings, I always cling to my present, fearful at times of what the future may bring.  So I am pressing forward.  I know if I cling to what I currently have now, it will not be that way in the future.

I need to be more flexible, more open.  I landed a decent job, very family friendly, and flexible.  Pressure will hopefully less and my quality of life will increase.

With all of the stuff going on, I have emotionally shut myself down.  Sex is essentially non-existent.  That's an issue.  I'm so out of touch with myself that I am not connecting well with Mr. Learning.  So here's to three months and hopefully I will have something wonderful to report and I will wake up to happiness again.