This wave of sadness just flowed over me...

Maybe its my pregnancy emotions (I have to be honest, I haven't had that happen a lot at all maybe just once) but I'm sad right now. Mr. Learning is at the gym and he'll be home soon to comfort me and tell me it will be okay. I took down our profile at our site...well didn't completely take it down but just removed everything off there except that we are on a break until next fall. That actually made me get all teary eyed. It's like closing a chapter of your life...wondering where it will lead. Can we get back here once again? So I'm sad. We had an awesome year and now it's another awesome. Vanilla life with hopefully some sprinkles.

HNT!

What to do? What to do?

Okay, ever have this happen? You really like a couple a lot.  They are smokin hot, talking smoking. But...your vanilla life in the future could instersecr big time in the future? That's where we are at.  We love the DJs but Mr. DJ is in my field.  We'll he'll be in my field when his finishes his masters.  He lives in the area that I work in and most of his former coworkers have came to my work place.  I'm in a good spot with my job.  In fact I could be a supervisor down the road and thus puts me in a bind because what if in the future.  Yeah, totally enjoy them but I'm thinking we shouldn't enjoy them fully lol.  

Happy Swing Anniversary to Us!

It's our swing anniversary! A year ago today we decided to take the plunge and create a profile. It happened when we were in Colorado Springs and we just got back from a strip club. The strip club was horrible but it was fun creating the profile. Its been an entertaining year. Our lives will be totally different a year from now so we are living in the moment.

It's been a while since we have been to a hotel party...lets see two months? There's one five minutes from our house tonight so we are going. A year ago, if you would have told me that I would love hotel parties, I would have thought you would be crazy. Over the past year, I grew to love them because it's one place where you don't get truly rejected in the lifestyle. If people are truly not interested in you, they don't spend chatting your ear off and flirting. I've gotten better at communicating, flirting, and socializing at these parties. Back in the day, Mr. Learning and I supported the wall. Now we are cutting a rug on the dance floor. We'll we may dance some but I don't want to overdue it. I'm still not able to have sex or masturbate...blows but at least I can still blow Mr. Learning!

The lil bean is alright :)

I have to say that I was pretty down the past week. After the spotting returned on Monday, I was like, "oh not again". When I chatted with my doctor on Tuesday, she had me discontinue the workouts and the sex until further notice. I understand the sex part but I was really trying to barter out some working out. After four minutes of listening to me, she was like "what do you not understand? no working out at all" in her calmest, most sweetest voices because she is a really sweet doctor. She set me up for an ultrasound on Friday. I got my scan and I have a rather active bean inside of me. The sac looked good and heartbeat was strong. My fears were lifted because I swore I was not pregnant and I lost the baby. I was wrong so far so good for baby. Just a few more weeks until we are out of the woods.

This weekend is the first weekend that we are hanging out at the home alone since April or May. It's what we really need. Our pacing is run run run run and that needs to slow down. I'm going to attack the house and do some massive cleaning. Mr. Learning is going to smoke a turkey and paint. Nice, huh? We live in a cool area. Initially I did not like it because it's a little more conservative than what I was used to but living in an urban area really gets you more in tune with the world around you. Yes, there are shops that I'm dying to come to town that don't make sense why they are not here yet, but give it a few years, they will be here. So today we are going to go about life for the first time in months in our home and that feels, well terrific. Here's to a great Saturday!

HNT vanilla style...

I'm in vanilla hell this week due to spotting. No sex, even masturbation at all until they figure out why I am spotting. I also had to give up working out. It stopped when I stopped the workouts but I won't get the green light for any activities until the doctor sees my scan which is going to happen tomorrow. No hotel party for us this weekend, which makes me sad. We could go to socialize but being in the highly charged environment without being able to do anything would SUCK. So I can't drink, no sex, no masturbation, and no working out? Oh God!

Oh what an interesting lifestyle!

Energy wise I'm trying to find some.  Either the weekend kicked my ass or the pregnancy is.  

Anyways, had a great coversation with Mrs. DJ.  Haven't seen them in a month and she found out from a mutual friend that I was expecting so she was so excited for us.  I wanted to tell her in person but the cat got out of the bag...this community is so incestous.  Everyone knows everyone so information is readily shared amongst people. Watch what you say! We had a cool conversation of sharing of play...do you tell your regulars (they have regulars too) or not? We both came to the conclusion that it's best not to because what is the intent? Yes we want to tell our closest friends how much we enjoyed getting fucked but how does that impact the regulars? But then when the regulars find out, what happens? Mrs. DJs friends freaked out and treated them like crap.  She noted that they were devasted and jealous.  Mrs. DJ noted that their regulars began to diss the other couple they played with.  Thinking about our own experience this past weekend, yes we thought our regulars were kind of slumming but do you think we would tell them that? Hell no! We enjoy them and would never put them in that situation.  Too bad Mrs. DJs regulars put them in a tight spot because that does hurt and cause confused feelings.  

Another thing I learned lately that it's hard when you get to be friends with both husband and wife.  Like you learn too much where you are like "REALLY?" humm...that gets complicated.  In my line of work I deal with confidentiality all the time so my mouth is like a steal trap but man, I so want to shake the two.  They both know that there's stuff they need to work on but it's so important that they need to flush things out because it could get potentially scary which makes me want to run from them both as playmates...humm sometimes it's bad to know too much!