Thursday, March 31, 2011

Mommy time...

It's a boy :) Had a super easy delivery like I wanted to. Not bad for an older mom, huh? We are settling into parenthood right now. He's a great baby and so far, so good. I'm in love with the little guy. Though, the one thing about being a parent, what out for unsolicited parenting advice from others. I'm also surprised how some people have been judging us already. The biggest thing is that we chose not to get baby learning circumsized. I did it more for the sexual aspect and Mr. Learning made the decision because it was an elective procedure. I figure if he wants to get it done when he is older, he can. At least he will be making the decision. We are trying to get into a routine and we have found one but thank goodness for time off! This is the longest I have ever been without working and I love it. It's nice to sit and bond with baby learning. I will savor every minute of it.

As things are starting to get back to normal, I'm trying to get myself back into some normal status. I gained a total of 45 pounds with the pregnancy. I'm at 205 pounds right now and it's really effecting my self esteem :( I know it's going to take a while to get back down. I'm trying not to belittle myself but I am and I really need to stop. With pregnancy, what came out of it for me is that old demons came back tht I guess I never dealt with properly. When I was in my 20s, I was severly overweight from the lifestyle that I lived in college. It took me two years, but I got down to a normal weight. During the last 8 years, I never really struggled too badly but the pregnancy and the emphasis on my weight during the pregnancy by myself and PCP put it back into full swing. Mr. Learning and I joined Weight Watchers. I can return to activity in late April so I'm looking forward to that. It's just been a total mind fuck for me.

We are seeing the Chemistrys with the regulars at the end of April. At this point, I'm not looking forward to it. I totally miss the chemistry's but totally embarassed by myself. The two couples are very close now, which is awesome for them though I'm wondering about the ackwardness with us. Last time I chatted with Mr. Chemistry was the weekend away. We see the regulars but, our relationship is a vanilla one with them. I highly doubt if we will ever close the line again. On our part, we are almost too good of friends. If it wasn't for their desire to fly the coop when their youngest leaves, Mr. Learning and I would actually love to have them as Godparents to baby learning. They are such good people. Odd I know but they are great people with excellent family values.

This is where we are at. I love where I am at as a new mom...though as a woman, I need to strengthen myself. I can't continue to beat myself up :( about how my body has changed and it reminds me of where I was at many years ago.