Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Waiting...thinking...waiting

Waiting...waiting...waiting...for baby learning!  Still plugging away :) 

One good thing about being out of the lifestyle for a bit is that you get a clearer head about where you want to go in the lifestyle.  It's funny that back in May/early June, Mr. Learning and I were such in a strange spot with swinging.  We were running around meeting a ton of couples and basically it got exhausting!  I hated "dating" other couples, meeting for drinks, wondering if there was any attraction, etc.  I really enjoyed the hotel party scene and the clubs.  You know right then if attraction was there, if it was, you are ready to roll.  Meeting on dates, yeah, I don't see us ever doing that in the future.  Arranging for sitting, etc.  seems like a hassle to me.  If we do partake in the future, I forsee us slipping over to a club or party and just linking with others.   

 I feel so much better about posting about the regulars/chemistry's though I do admit to not wanting to face them for a bit.  Yeah, immature but in a way, thus is where I am at.  I'm questioning our swinging style a tad.  Is it better to find a couple, screw the hell out of them, and never meet again? Or is it better that you have regulars? I'm leaning towards the screw and run lately.  Luckily we have a ton of months to figure it out.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Too much info...

I must admit that I've been having some interpersonal swinger confusion.  Heck, I know we are out if the lifestyle for now, possibly very long time but I happened to find out some stuff last week that I've been ruminating over.  I haven't been chatting with any of our old friends really too much.  Mrs. Chemistry and I are Facebook friends and she sent me a nice note noting that she missed our chats and asked if we yahoo anymore.  I noted to here that I haven't been running the program but I would hit her up that night and chat.  We had a nice chat and then she noted that our regulars hit it off with them and Mrs. Regular was really wanting to screw Mr. Chemistry.  Mrs. Chemistry does not really want to screw Mr. Regular so they are in a strange spot. I know Mrs. Chemistry's style so it would be safe to say she will cave and screw Mr. Regular.   This pang of jealousy came out in me....and I've been thinking about it a ton.  I wish that I did not know this information.  It's that spot you want your friends to get together but the jealously came out for a couple of reasons...I know last year I wanted us to go there with both couples but thinking back, heck, I was more into screwing Mr. Chemistry just cause the heat.  I did not want to really screw Mr. Regular but it would have been "safe". Mr. Learning enjoyed Mrs. Chemistry but she too found my hubby "safe".  So I've been in swinger heck because I couldn't get this off my chest.  It's just this "argh".  Or maybe it's that feeling of being left out, watching others progress yet we are in a different realm now.  I just need to shake this feeling.  I know it's a stupid feeling but it's there and I hate having it.  

Baby is almost here :) we both are excited but not even remotely emotionally ready for it but is anyone????? We are enjoying these last few weeks together and savoring the simple life.