Monday, August 1, 2011

I struggled last week, bad, real bad. It must have been a massive funk or baby blues but I can say, I have a new found understanding what depression feels like and it freaking sucks. I was low...Saturday was the worst. I was at an amusement park, surrounded by a ton of people, I was supposed to be having fun, and all I felt was despair and emptiness. I had awful thoughts, pure awful. It freaked me out. I knew it had to stop and that I wasn’t setting myself up for success. I failed to exercise last month, my eating went from balanced to unbalanced, sleep was horrible, I failed to take my vitamins, and I failed to use my skills that I have. I talked to Mr. Learning. I told him I needed some uninterrupted sleep, some positive encouragement, and we need to put the lifestyle on hold until I get my head clear. My head was so foggy from the night before. I need to work on myself with self esteem, I need to become the new me before we hit the lifestyle again. The talk with the regulars really spurred me into a tizzy. Not in a bad way but in a way that points out that we need some direction with everything. We’re spinning around looking for some direction...but hopefully in a good direction...on on-track direction.


  1. There is nothing wrong with taking a break while you get youself back to where you want to be. Also, there is no shame in going to see someone professionally. It's possibly that the is PPD. Just look out for yourself, babe.

    Also, a good night's sleep does wonders when you have a tiny one. I remember my worst day after the first baby were when I had the least amount of sleep.

    Feel free to message me if you need to talk.


  2. I hope things get easier for you...