Sunday, December 18, 2011

Ah, future worries are sucking me dry....

Vanilla: We celebrated Christmas with my family this weekend.  I love being with them because we are about the coming together, not just the presents. We have a nice meal, open gives, and chat. Of course the nephews were dying to open their gifts. At one point when my mom mentioned opening presents both of them dived bombed the bags to open one only to find out they were not supposed to created some laughs.

My sister and brother in law laid into me about the future.  There is no doubt that this coming year is going to be very challenging for me personally because we have to make some decisions about life.  We have the whole year to decide if we are going to take the relocation package or not.  I hate change with a passion.  The current struggle with the job has been tackling me with mild anxiety.  I know where my resistance comes from.  My father and mother were both blue collar.  My dad worked the line at an assembly company after choosing to get out of management at small shops.  My mom worked the line when I was younger and she transitioned to office based work in the early 80s.  I spent the majority of my childhood in the unemployment lines here in Michigan.  I remember grabbing a toy and chatting it up with the people in line.  Back then, there was no such thing as MARVIN (you call into the line noting that your were looking for work).  You simply had to stand in a line to talk to others.  My parents instilled in me that a job was a job and you don't leave a good job ever.  Especially in a bad economy.  I don't want to lose what I have.  Right now, I have an excellent job.  I love what I do, I love my supervisor, I love my co-workers, I love my company, and I love my benefits.  The cons are, I will never be a boss because my personality is too strong, I will not grow too much, I have a long ass commute, and I've hit the glass ceiling in pay. My husband on the other hand hates his job.  He loathes every inch of his job.  In fact, he has changed his career focus twice in life and it brings him no passion.  Though, he has the opportunity to go back to school with him in a field that better matches his personality.  The company will pay for him. He just needs to apply for school, yet there is no movement in that area.   I'm still on the fence with the whole relocation thing.  I can see where it would be nice to have 10 hours extra each week, a better house, and live in a better school district.  Though I am afraid about a $20K pay cut, relocating near my inlaws where they would probably be up our asses, and starting a new job where I have to prove myself again.

So I am struggling here.  I've been struggling with this unknown for a few months but that icky feeling is hitting me and we will have to deal with it soon.  Sucks.  That's what I am wrestling with.

Swinger: Humm....nothing to report :) It's the holidays and everyone is doing their thing.  We did get some hits on our profile but unfortunately, we have no time to hang out with anyone.  Maybe if it was spring but alias, the child care is going down to Florida with the rest of the snow birds.  Which means no date nights for a very long time.  That's unless we hook up with Mr. Learning's sister and allow her to take care of baby learning for the night.  Though, I am not a huge fan of winter travel here in Michigan.  So I think we are going to stay put and do nothing for a few months.

Swinging is hard with kids.  You all who are able to do it amaze me.  It seems like careful coordinating has to happen in order to get things done.  I have to admit, I am sad about not having any date nights with Mr. Learning.  Maybe we need to get creative and have date days :) humm....that is an idea.


  1. I was also raised with those same values of don't ever leave a good job. I also look at where it got my dad a sucky retirement he has been struggling to survive on. I think to myself maybe I need to take a chance at something else in life. I haven't yet but maybe someday Roll and I will.

    I myself have a hard time seeing how people with kids are able to swing. Roll and I have no kids and are always amazed that people manage to balance both.
    Our swing life has also been quiet lately as we are dealing with vanilla life we lost Rolls mom last week unexpectedly and prior to that we had been dealing with a knee replacement she had. We both realize that the swinger world will be there and the challenges of vanilla life come first. Maybe sometime in a couple of months we will venture back to it. As for now we just need to continue to take of the things we need to.
    Hope you find the time for date night soon and here's to hoping we do also

  2. Mrs. Learning,

    Change can be a source of anxiety. My biological father went through 4 marriages and countless girlfriends ~ the underlying theme was that he could not handle the monotony of a stable life. I have inherited some of this trait, so I thrive on change. Luckily I have a job that provides constant change yet permits progression. SM grew up in an Air Force family and loves the military lifestyle. We have learned to embrace the change. It works for us, but job security is the key.

    As for swinging with kids, it is hard. We are lucky that Man Child is old enough to look after his siblings. In addition, my mother is spending the winter with us, so we have a free babysitter.

    If you find yourself in Florida, SM and I will show you and Mr. Learning a good time :)

    Mr. No Name