I'm finally getting it!!! I can go on these dates now and not take things personally if there's no attraction whatsoever and just take it as a good night out. We met the truckers and they were abosultely adorable both of them but there was no chemistry at all. Just good folks...I'm proud of myself. Brought my A game, was myself, and enjoyed the experience for what it was...yah!!!!

I'm putting myself in time out. I'm taking a holiday from Facebook and yahoo messenger. I've noticed in the past few months that my online habits are becoming worse and worse so in order to unclog certain areas in my life I'm going offline somewhat. I've noticed that it's impacting my work life because it is a distraction. It's like I feel I have to check it all the time, which is totally unhealthy. I figure, I'll log into Facebook once per day and scan quickly but I'm curious what life will look like when I remove myself from those time suckers. I also need to tend to myself somewhat because I feel I'm sort of in a clusterfuck right now with nutrition. I need to focus on my healthy eating habits like I was doing a few months ago. I lost focus back in April when I lost my WW meeting. I know what I need to do, I just need to do it.

It's been nice to reconnect with Mr. Learning this weekend. Even though we are traveling, it's been great to hang out with our vanilla friends and just enjoy life. We both chatted about how in the heck did 2 weeks go by and there was no sex. We just get caught up with life sometimes and we need to slow down. We still have this running pace until the end of July but we both are going to name a conservative effort to slow down somewhat with our vanilla life. It's hard at times because we both have those emotionally challenging jobs. I've learned to turn off my work mode @ 5 but Mr. Learning is still trying to learn that. He was in a very logical profession before his career change but now he's more in an emotional career telling people no all the time (which doesn't go well with his easy going personality).

When it comings to our swinging life, well we have a few things on the horizon buy nothing too big. We have a date with the truckers on Tuesday and the chemistry's are coming into town in two weeks. They decided to rent a cabin do we are just going to chill with them on that Saturday. It looks like bike riding, dinner, and a camp fire. Then the next weekend we are going to Quebec for a music festival. We have one night in Montreal so we are going to try to hit a club. I'm still surprised that Quebec has nothing to offer swing wise. Bummer!

We are spending a weekend in Chicago with our vanilla friends. I love Chicago. We try to get over here about 5 times a year at least. We love what the city has to offer. Plans today include going to a mansion that is having an estate sale, ikea, and a trip into the city to get some BBQ at a place called honky tonk. So basically we are going to eat ourselves to death :)

Normally we would not have sex in someones elses bed but we had a dry spell. 2 freaking weeks without sex. That was horrible! I only saw Mr. Learning for 3 waking hours this week and it was stressful week at work for him so when that happens, it takes a toll on him. Plus I wasn't even in the mood but this morning when I looked at him and the morning wood I had to have him. We had a massive amount of foreplay...it was fantastic! Sometimes I just need a good fuck.

HNT!!!

It is funny how each couple sets...

It is funny how dates with couples get set up. After doing this for the past 10 months, Mr. Learning has always done the setting up of dates. Well, it's finally my turn. To tell you the truth, I understand why people do it but I do find it to be a pain because I like Mr. Learning to set things up. Chatting with an unidentified female is a tad on the awkward side for me. Like, I feel like a damn teenager. Gosh I hate that. I was supposed to call the couple last night but we were out car shopping so I wasn't able to make the call until 9:00 last night. She called back today and I'm stalling calling her back until Mr. Learning gets home so he can hold my hand through it...just joking. I just want him available so that we can firm up plans right then and there instead of this back and forth stuff. I'll let you know how it goes. There's a first for everything :)

Regulars send us a dirty movie clip of them fucking. Way too much fun. Now, they want us to send them one back. I honestly wish I was in the mood for making one but during the past two weeks, my drive is totally down. This is odd because my drive is usually pretty high. Maybe I've been way too busy with vanilla life but I don't like the idea of having a dryspill and it's looking like a drought over here right now. Got to spice that up. Mr. Learning and I have been pretty busy. Work tends to exhaust us more mentally than physically and sometimes that plays into the situation. I also need to say that I haven't been feeling on my A game lately. My hair needs tending to so I put an email into my stylist and self esteem wise, well I'm trying to bolster it up again. I think I'm in a tad funk right now and I just need to get out of it. I've been harder on myself more than usual, which is not me. I just need to lighten up on myself some. I'm also travelling a lot regionally for work and I'm exhausted at night where I know I'm not sleeping enough and going in early to the gym does not give me the option of sleeping in. I hate being in this stage but being here will lead to self improvement...I know it will.

On the vanilla note, we were out car shopping as I mentioned above and I have to say, we found our car. Unfortunately, Mr. Learning wants the bigger engine. For the compromise, we are going to save some money for a huge down payment so we can get a better monthly payment on it. It's beautiful...Dodge Challenger R/T model. It will be ours in the next six months. I'm all for delayed gratification because some things are worth the wait!

Happy Father's Day...

To all dad's out there happy Fathers Day! I am pretty fortunate to have a set of terrific folks. They are extremely hardworking and great role models to me. This time last year, I had no clue that my dad was struggling with prostate cancer. Luckily, he beat it and he is now cancer free. Go dad! He's 75 and has the energy of a 50 year old. My folks are total pervs but the good time. Mom informed me that "your dad still gets me going after all these years!". Isn't that terrific?

Had fun at the wedding. We left about 9:45. Never heard from the regulars so we decided to go see a movie. Our schedules are not matching with the regulars so it probably be a while before we see them again. Which I'm kind of sad about but what can you do? We finally got to see the A Team and that was fun. It was just nice to spend time with Mr. Learning.

We two vanilla weekends coming up and then the Chemistry's are coming into town so no major swing action in the forecast. We might have a dinner date in a week or two but we will see. It will be a good tiny break from the lifestyle stuff and just the regular fun stuff that Mr. Learning and I do! Though I am slightly worried how quickly the summer will go.

Can I say awesome date...

It was a great date and it was vanilla with sprinkles. Some flirting, some touching, and it was just nice. Great day where we both felt comfortable with the couple, chatting it up. The had to pick up the kids at 10:00 so we ended the evening. Mr. DJ kissed me in the parking lot on the way out. Which was nice because I dig him. Heck, we both noted how much we dig them. They just have all this positive energy. There will hopefully be more as they noted in a text "can't wait for more". Nice! Here's to more.

Thanks for the feedback on the opinions of what to share with others. This is always a fine line isn't it? You never know when you go over the line until it's crossed. It promoted a good conversation with Mr. Learning and I. I need to talk about this stuff. This is how I process things. I'm like one of those people who really need to talk things out so it's figured out/better so I can move on because I ruminate until things are sorted out in my head.

We have a wedding today so I'm looking forward to that. It's been two years since we have been to a wedding. We'll go try our new dancing skills that we have acquired in the lifestyle. We got a text from the regulars noting that their son is not home tonight so it could lead to more but who knows if we will be able to make the trip to go see them. It just depends when we leave the reception. If we could, it would be a nice evening maybe?

How much to share? This is something that if I had a recent redo moment I would do it. About a month ago, I think I crossed a boundary on sharing too much. I cringe when I think about it even today. I've asked Mr. Learning to help keep me in check with this because I didn't do it on purpose but it just happened. So in the lifestyle how much is it okay to share? Where do folks draw the line? In my case I shared that we screwed a couple and didn't know their name and she screwed me so hard that it scared me. Yeah I was stupid to share and I totally regret it. Live and learn.

I think part of what's going on in our case is Mr. Learning doesn't debrief with me about things. I want to really chat things out but he's like "that was good" and that's that. For instance tonight we have the hot date with the DJs and I asked him " so if the situation presents itself tonight are you in the mood?". Mr learning replied "let's play it by ear.". To me, I would love to know so that if mrs. Learning is more vanilla or more swinger acting tonight. Mr. Chemistry noted that I should be more swingerish tonight. We'll see.

The DJs confirmed their date with us so off we will go. They noted thatvthey are looking forward to it. We both are breaking some rules tomorrow that we set orginally...not breaking vanilla engagements for swinger stuff. Though, on our behalf we forgot about the vanilla stuff when we set up the date. I was supposed to hang out with a group of girlfriends and Mr. Learning was supposed to go out with his team at work...opps! Live and learn :)

HNT!

HNT to all :)

Chatted with Mr. Chemistry on yahoo today. Found out that in September when we go on the trip, Mrs. Chemistry wants us all to share the loft area. Did she say what?!?! I could kiss that woman, wait let me say I could fuck that woman *smirk*. I know plans always can change but I'm looking forward to that if it's an option. Mrs. Chemistry and I have been chatting a lot lately. When we first met them we started issuing them sexy challenges. One challenge was to give a blow job in the car and the other was to fuck in the woods. Our latest challenge is to go to an adult store and find some lube because we don't have any of that stuff :( we are so vanilla :) but with sprinkles!

Two things I have noticed about swinging is...

Here are the two things that I have noticed about swinging. We have had our profile up since mid-August of last year. Our first event was a small house party. Already, the house party group has disbanded, and three couples out of the ten are no longer together. Yeah, the lifestyle is not for everyone. We got an email from the owner of the former house party noting how his wife left him for an ex. When we first met the couple at the house party, they were quiet scary. Mr. Learning and I just sat back and watched them interact and it was pretty bad. They were totally trashed by 10:30, not attractive. Don't get me wrong, Mr. Learning and I love our beer and liquor but in complete moderation. In fact, when we truly swing, we love to be sober so we can recant the events of the night. Anyways, they gave out scary vibes so we stayed away. Another couple who was there only made it three months and they ended their engagement. People burn out and they burn out quickly. Maybe our pace is helping us...we tend to be relationship swingers. We've only fooled around with a couple once without know thing and looking back on that night, I think I made it happen for a reason. We really try to get a feel for people because very rarely can I go and think about screwing the girl or the guy. I have to like more than their looks, I have to like their personality if that makes any sense. Our pace is our pace and I'm not making judgments on others but in order for us to make this work, make it comfortable, we need this pace right now. I'm not saying that it will stay constant but at this time in our swinging lives, this is the pace. We've met a few couples who hit it running and they are doing terrific (way to go! fist pump for them!) but then when we hear swinger breaking up horror stories, it makes me worry a tad, kind of wondering "do we know what we are doing?" and then I answer my own question "why yes we do...we are going slow". I'm loving what we are doing. The couples who we clicked with are amazing people and I feel they know me in a way that others (well besides my husband) will never. I trust them more than my vanilla friends, which is something. Thats my first observation.

My second observation is about myself. In the past year I'm taking better care of myself. I'm caring about my clothing (well, on the weekends that is! during the work week, I'm the same), getting my hair done, my nails done, pedicures, and trying new things. Today I had to go out shopping for some shoes because we have a vanilla event on Saturday so I hit my favorite shopping spot. I found this cutie of a dress. It shows off my best assets which is my narrow shoulders and tiny waist. I would have never worn it before swinging. I like my swinger self :)

We got an offer from a couple who we wanted to meetup with to go out tomorrow but we are passing. Four dates in a week would have been too much. We'll see if we can hook up with them down the road but our calendar is looking really busy right now. Our next free weekend is July 23rd! Where is summer going?!?!?

3 dates in one week makes me weak...

Went in the date and they were a nice young couple.  Very young!  Lots if excitement and having a blast.  It was nice to chat with them.  So overall, a good date.  Not too sure if we will see them again but  we will be sure to say hi if we see them at a party.  We have one more date planned in the coming week and that's with the DJ's this Friday.  We have been chatting with her for a while now.  We got to officially meet him at the last party.  They are both adorable and there are some great vibes going between us all.  We will see where that goes.  After that I think we will slow down on the dates a tad.  Three in the past week is enough for me!  

On a positive note, I spoke to Mrs. Chemistry yesterday and we were invited up north with them to a party in the fall. It's  vanilla orientated but she is bringing a couple and we have that option too...so a condo full of swingers...damn that can be fun! Plus she helped me get out of my little funk yesterday.  This "dating" stuff is beginning to hit my self esteem a tad.  We discussed how we enjoy parties because people come to you so there is no rejection. Honestly, Friday was a little tough because I hate that look of disappointment.  I kind of saw that in Mr. Republicans eyes.  Mrs. Chemistry noted that she and the Mr. were concentrating in the parties instead of the dates.  She validated my feelings but also encouraged me to look at the dating as just meeting others and being able to push the judgments away :) The Chemistry's are amazing...too bad that they live so far away.  I can do this! Mr. Learning does fabulous on dates...I on the other hand do awesome at the parties.  There's got to be a balance between the two

Another date today...

We have another date planned for tonight...man we are on a roll, two dates in one weekend. This couple is a tad on the younger side for us. I generally like hanging out with the 30 and older crowd. They are 25/27 Mr. Learning set this up for us. He has been chatting with them for a few weeks. I've stayed out of the conversation because well I have no idea. Usually I like to interject a few things but this one, I haven't felt the need. The odd thing that I have noticed so far is that they only want to communicate via email. I always feel better when a couple chats with us on the phone prior to meeting.  The other thing that is irking me is that their face pics are not open to us. I just asked Mr. Learning if they are married but he didn't know so we will see how this one goes.

After Friday I'm beginning to keep track of failed dates.  I'm such a geek/data girl.  We are up to four lack of connection dates out of the five we have done. What I mean by failed  is that there is no connection via chemistry/personality/other.  Though who knows if Friday should ve considered lack of connection because I've gotten 5 text messages from Mrs. Republican....if they wanted to blow us off, would they be writing? Anyways...I'm writing little notes about the date that I remember like one, the people were too damn old for us. They had NO energy. He was 56, she was 55. Their kids were my age. He kept on noting that it would be sensual to get me in the shower.  No thanks! Mr. Regular has a son my age (adopted) but his energy level is not reflected in his age. He's in his early 50's but acts like a 30 year old.It's all about how you act and how much energy you bring to the table. We tend to enjoy coupled who have this youthful energy level about them. 

Anyways, we will see how this date turns out. Meeting new people is always fun but it can get a tad exhausting. At least lately we are meeting some nice people :) we may not connect but they are nice. Plus it's brushing us up on out social skills.

It was implusive but we met a nice couple. I don't think there was any chemistry but we enjoyed hanging out with them. Now ladies if you want to surprise your hubby you may want to check in to see how his energy is. We found that Mr. Republican spent 8 hours in the car today. Not the best set up for a date. We chatted and parted ways about 12. Interesting thing Mrs. Republican asked if we ever just meet a couple for dinner and screw on a later date. I noted we do. She noted that it is hard to go from a vanilla dinner then into bed because there us no flirting going on. Please tell me how the heck do people flirt in a public place and then get them into the hotel room because I need some coaching here! I'm pretty engaging at dinner but there's no way for me to flirt overtly, I don't want to embarass them or myself. Yeah, need to work on the transitioning aspect of swinging. Chatted with Mr. Chemistry on yahoo last night. Always great to chat with him. We were talking about how difficult it is to find 4 people who genuinely like each other. They have a lot of problems in that area. We were invited to a major upscale party where they are going to be in two weeks but we have plans to hit Chicago to see Mr. Learnings best friends...if they cancel we are so there. Though we have a date planned with them on the second week in July because they are going to be in our area. We'll see if transitioning is a problem there too. It's all fun ;)

We are doing the most implusive thing tonight...

We are on our way up north (3 hour drive) to have dinner with a couple and if we click...well some adult fun. I was sitting at my desk this morning and Mrs. Republican pinged me. We were chatting back and forth then she asked "will you both come up and surprise my husband? I would love to do this for him. He'll never believe that I could manage doing this". I thought for a few and it excited me a ton. It hit that implusive love of travel I have so I called her to verfiy the plans and to be sure I was chatting with the Mrs. And it was her. She was so excited. Called Mr. Learning and after weighing the pros/cons he was in! The swing population up here is really bad so they have only had 1 really good experience so far. Maybe the learning2swings can help. I'll post tomorrow on how well it went!

HNT

Here is my first...one my way out to softball!

I got hit with...

Last week was one of the lowest points I've had in a while. It was just rough self esteem wise. It seems like every once in a while, I get slammed by that evil thing called a monthly and it totally brought me down. With that and plus it was compounded by our very first rejection in the lifestyle...life was not to pretty in the learning2swing household :(

This was our first rejection and I'm definitely sure it's not our last but I bet the first one you get stings the most because we really didn't expect it. They gave off that air that they had a good time so, who knows but at least they were honest. The cool thing is that they sent us a nice rejection letter, which takes major balls and we appreciated it. Here's what they wrote "we've been talking, and it was great to meet you guys too. We thought you guys were great. Would make great friends, but we just weren't feeling it for the other stuff. And in light of what you guys told us that night, we should probably just leave it at that so as not to make anyone uncomfortable. Enjoy the summer...". I might tweak their response to us and use it in the future if we have to. The thing is, I took the rejection too personally last week. I blamed myself for maybe the lack of connection, my looks, etc. Looking back, I shouldn't have taken to heart so much but I did. The hormones didn't help me get out of my funk either.

We were this close to not going into the hotel party because of my funk. I thought if I can't be social, why should we spend the money to go? Finally on Thursday, I perked up some and was ready to go. Though, because of the monthly, we both decided that we would just go in and chat with people. We made a trip out of it. We stopped by and saw some of Mr. Learning's former coworkers and had lunch with them and then we went off to the hotel with a few stops on the way. We got to the hotel, relaxed some, and kicked back. There were 300 couples signed up for the party so it was going to be huge. We got there and there were some people there. We chatted a little with a few people. I kept running into this dishy guy who looked like Kal Penn and was flirting with him and his partner...they were adorable. I'm so into Indian guys, I have this fascination with them. We then ran into the Chemistry's and I have to say, they still take my breath away. Oh my goodness, they sure do. They brought their vanilla friends with them so we didn't want to monopolize their time but we were able to get some time in with them and it was nice....real nice. We also ran into the DJ's. They are a couple from our area who travelled down the party and they are uber cute. We have been chatting with Mrs. DJ at the parties that they work at in our area for a few months and this was the first time we got to meet them as a couple because he is always spinning the music. Totally couldn't read if they are interested in us or not but maybe we can explore this in the future because we all had terrific vibes going between us four. At one point, I looked over and Mrs. DJ was on Mr. Learning's lap and I was kissing Mr. DJ and I thought wow, this is terrific. I would so like to see Mr. Learning bang her skinny ass :) She is so tiny and I would be curious to see what they could do with each other. They gave us their cell phone numbers and noted that they have most Friday's free. Is that an invitation to call? The party had an afterparty but it was so packed, we went back to the room and I feel asleep. We trained with our trainer that morning so I was so exhausted! Overall it was a good party. We chatted with a ton of people, I kissed a handful of people, and I was able to pull myself out of my funk.

We stopped by the Regulars on the way home. It was great to see them. They were visiting their grandkids so we just chilled out and had a barbecue with them. They are going to be busy during the next few weeks. We chatted about going to a nudist camp but I'm kind of nervous to do that. I'll do it but it's still a tad nerve racking to do stuff like that.

Overall, it was a great weekend. I'm feeling better about myself. It was a totally off week for me and it's great to be out of that funk. Man, did that suck. Hopefully, that won't happen next month! Also, I think I will be able to take rejection in stride. I'll try not to take it so personally next time. It's going to happen and it's no reflection of us really because everyone has different tastes.

Just when you start to figure things out...

You know this swinging thing is not for the faint at heart. It's been an interesting couple of weeks. It goes from this true high to this self doubting stuff that makes me think how the heck did I get here and where in the heck did these feelings come from? The good thing is that I'm getting myself a clearer head in the past few days because there has been time to reflect some. If that makes any sense at all.

So the date went well, or so we thought. We typically send a thank you email to those we had a good time with. If we don't hear from them, we just move on. Mr. L sent them a follow up thank you and we haven't heard from them. I guess the funny thing is that we didn't notice them not having a good time. Bummer...but it happens. Oh well, but it was like drat! We like these people...because they seemed normal...maybe we were too normal for them. Who knows...?

Then on Sunday we got to meet up with the regulars. They had a get together with family so we hung out with them all day. The family cleared out and we got some alone time to chat about our adventures during the past 3 months. We haven't had any adult time so we chatted about our experiences as of late. We talked about where we are going, our pacing issues, my frustration with Mr. L and his shyness, and how the last play couple scared the shit out of me. After some discussion, they chatted about how they feel self conscious lately, they put on some weight, and not feeling as sexy. Mrs. Regular is not happy with herself :( and she is so stunning...really she is. Then she started to talk about how she would not go farther in the lifestyle because she has everything she needs in her Mr. Regular. Needless to say without saying any words, a full with them is totally out. We started to talk about how I feel that swinging has benefited Mr. L and me. I've only had four full sexual partners and felt that I was basically a lousy lover, not to creative, and I used to struggle with my body image. I feel more creative now than ever, I'm getting better as a lover, and I like my body. Then we started to talk about sex stuff and then went off to enjoy their company. It was fun but I am still feeling out of swing right now and I think it showed. In a way, Mr. L and I were expecting a vanilla day so my swinging mindset was not there so needless to say my A game was not on. Yeah..

Then the conversation with regulars kind of fucked my head in a way. It got me thinking...are Mr. L and I ready for a full? In theory yes, but after chatting with Mr. L, no we are not. He would like to do it with the right couple, the right time, and the right comfort level. He noted that the only couple he feels comfortable with is the regulars. Then I felt kind of guilty about wanting to fuck the Chemistry's. So again...pacing...and pulling back to where Mr. L is comfy and me dealing with those guilty feelings of "man, I really want to fuck those people this weekend if we get the opportunity" but we are so not there yet. No wonder people stay clear of the newbies! LOL...we'll figure it out, it just takes time.