It's been a rough year for me. I am a person who does not transition well but putting my needs behind my family needs was essential this year. How I responded to the transition was not necessarily good but I doubt if I could have handled it any other way. Now after the dust has settled, I still miss my old life, my old co-workers, my old neighborhood/neighbors but I am accepting this reality and open to creating a better life in my new area. We are finally forging ahead. Meeting new people is rough but hopefully the summer will bring some new friendships. It's boring not to have some friends. We figure that we are going to get the kid involved in gymnastics this winter plus swimming so maybe that will get us involved with some vanilla friends. We are trying to get out more with our son and creating family memories. Life has been filled with visiting parks to feed the ducks or hitting the local museum. What is also helping is that our son is not handing us our asses as much anymore. Nothing is better than a 21 month old controlling us. We stepped up the parenting and he's doing better.
As for swinging...it's out there...hopefully down the road. To answer your question, John, there is a group that I belong online to who is doing a meet up in April in Columbus at a club so hopefully the cards will be in our favor to go :) It's been years since we have been to a club so I would love to go even if Mr. Learning and I will be voyeurs. We are dying for some couple time. We still have yet to secure a babysitter but hopefully that will happen soon!
So here's to a good new year. It's been an interesting two years and we are ready for things to settle down. Here's a big kiss to you all. Take care and happy New Years!
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Monday, November 12, 2012
And the week came...
Update...finally getting settled here. The physical move was terrific because my husband's company hired movers for us. Nothing like a relocation company taking care of you but unpacking was a bitch. We are glad to be done with that. Now I just need to organize things a tad better and everything will be fine.
The one good thing about buying a newer home is that nothing needs to be done because it's newer. At our old house, we were constantly working on a project every month. If it wasn't this, it was that...now we get to relax. Sure there's some finishing stuff like finishing out the basement and completing the drywall in the garage but that's about it.
I got back to Weight Watchers 3 weeks ago and joined a gym as well. It feels great to be back into some type of routine because oh how I let my emotions get the best out of me the last few months. Emotional eating and me were best friends so needless to say, I hit an all time high but that's okay because I am back on track. I am tracking my points and devoting an hour a day to myself with exercise and it feels great to have some me time.
Now it's just time to reconnect with the hubby. This past weekend was the first time that we had a whole day together without the kid. I absolutely love the kid but we have not been kid free since June of 2011and it was nice just to be out. We need to have more balance in this area but it will come as we get settled.
The new job is okay, the team likes me, and I had an awesome 90 day review. I still can't compare it to where I was, but that's not fair. In a year, I will feel like I have been there forever.
No swinging action going on of course. We are looking at going down to Columbus in April for a meet up with some people so that could be fun. I am just living vicariously through others and watching SWING on playboy TV. Got to love it...so keep the adventures coming.
The one good thing about buying a newer home is that nothing needs to be done because it's newer. At our old house, we were constantly working on a project every month. If it wasn't this, it was that...now we get to relax. Sure there's some finishing stuff like finishing out the basement and completing the drywall in the garage but that's about it.
I got back to Weight Watchers 3 weeks ago and joined a gym as well. It feels great to be back into some type of routine because oh how I let my emotions get the best out of me the last few months. Emotional eating and me were best friends so needless to say, I hit an all time high but that's okay because I am back on track. I am tracking my points and devoting an hour a day to myself with exercise and it feels great to have some me time.
Now it's just time to reconnect with the hubby. This past weekend was the first time that we had a whole day together without the kid. I absolutely love the kid but we have not been kid free since June of 2011and it was nice just to be out. We need to have more balance in this area but it will come as we get settled.
The new job is okay, the team likes me, and I had an awesome 90 day review. I still can't compare it to where I was, but that's not fair. In a year, I will feel like I have been there forever.
No swinging action going on of course. We are looking at going down to Columbus in April for a meet up with some people so that could be fun. I am just living vicariously through others and watching SWING on playboy TV. Got to love it...so keep the adventures coming.
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
One more week? one more week? one more...
In order to make it through the week, I have been telling myself "just one more week...you can do it". We are at the tail end of this moving journey that has totally taken over our life for the past two years and I just keep telling myself in "one more week we will know more". I know it almost done but I am so ready to be done that it's not even funny. We are almost there. House is sold but the new owners have not closed on it. New house is completed but it's still not done...it looks done but not done. No close date yet but once we have it...boom...things will start to move.
As I was sitting with someone today, my mantra with them was give up to get more. I was letting her know that she had to give up control to get more control. This is kind of what I need right now as I move through this new journey. I have just needed to let go of things so I could gain control of the situation. Maybe it would have made this transition easier, maybe it would have been smoother. I don't know but maybe, just maybe.
The other thing is that I have lost myself in the past two years. I don't really know who I am anymore. I know who I used to be but I don't necessarily know if I like the person who I am now. I need to switch it up. I need to make myself a priority again, start to care again, start to get excited again, and get that passion back. That intensity that really makes things spark up in life because I am tired of this. This is not working for me because I want to participate again but in what? I am not too sure but I want that feeling of living again, instead of just existing. To live, it means that the passion is there, the goals, the energy, and the determination. What I have now, is the lust to want to get things inline again but the self doubt in myself needs to just go...it cannot exist in myself any longer.
So here I am, looking for a new me. I have a new job, a new home on the way, and new adventures to be had but I need to embrace it with full arms. Kind of what Hubman did with his new change (hubman, you are amazing and thanks for your recent post on this). One more week...one more week...one more week...
As I was sitting with someone today, my mantra with them was give up to get more. I was letting her know that she had to give up control to get more control. This is kind of what I need right now as I move through this new journey. I have just needed to let go of things so I could gain control of the situation. Maybe it would have made this transition easier, maybe it would have been smoother. I don't know but maybe, just maybe.
The other thing is that I have lost myself in the past two years. I don't really know who I am anymore. I know who I used to be but I don't necessarily know if I like the person who I am now. I need to switch it up. I need to make myself a priority again, start to care again, start to get excited again, and get that passion back. That intensity that really makes things spark up in life because I am tired of this. This is not working for me because I want to participate again but in what? I am not too sure but I want that feeling of living again, instead of just existing. To live, it means that the passion is there, the goals, the energy, and the determination. What I have now, is the lust to want to get things inline again but the self doubt in myself needs to just go...it cannot exist in myself any longer.
So here I am, looking for a new me. I have a new job, a new home on the way, and new adventures to be had but I need to embrace it with full arms. Kind of what Hubman did with his new change (hubman, you are amazing and thanks for your recent post on this). One more week...one more week...one more week...
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
I am pretty proud of myself. Today was the first time in a week that I haven't cried about transitioning. Yesterday, I even had a moment of "I am happy to be done with them..." as I giggled with my boss. She laughed and said that the new replacement will "have fun with them". I love my boss...she is an amazing woman.
I've been pretty smart about the transition so far. I think I picked out a great company that is much easier going than I am used to. I will be in the same position but I have skills that others do not have, thus, I will be somewhat a pioneer and power player. This new company is very eager and very happy to have me, as they should be. I do rock at what I do and I can run circles around others. Or so I think...
As the transitioning, I will be doing a longer commute until our house sells or hubbies company buys it from us (within 60 days). Our new house is set to close in mid September. We are getting a brand new spanking house and I am excited about that. Our new mortgage rate is going to be $75 cheaper than our current home plus we get a new home and 600 more sq feet. It's a ticky tacky but we will make it our own. We will live about 5 minutes from some swinger friends but our relationship is purely vanilla now that I highly doubt if we will hit it with them one day. Humm, though I guess we will cross that bridge when we come to it.
When it concerns swinging I wonder how it's going to work in the future. Not that we are even discussing it but the thoughts are there. Right now, we are somewhat anonymous in our community. We rarely run into others and we just do our thing. In our new community, it's smaller. You know the type of community that everyone know everyone else's business. In fact, my husband has coworkers who live right down the street from us and they already know we are buying the home before anyone else.
Our friends swing with others who have kids on the same sports teams and other various community activities. We've seen them sexting back and forth while at a soccer game with their fellow friends. I don't know if I could do that. It's like "yeah, I fucked you last night but now I see you in full mommy mode at the game". I couldn't imagine in the future going to my son's school and seeing a dad/mom I was with the week before. What about if people talk?....they tend to always do....lots of risks. I like being anonymous...I like others not knowing my business unless I share. So how do people do it? My kind of fun is being anonymous at a party and just letting things flow. We love not knowing others. Our friends have a group of 10-20 couples who have all been with each other. That semi freaks me out, like "hey I was with them, susie was with them, john was with them, etc". That just seems too close to me. We giggled last night that the friends will probably stop inviting us to their parties now that we are a few minutes away....we'll see.
I've been pretty smart about the transition so far. I think I picked out a great company that is much easier going than I am used to. I will be in the same position but I have skills that others do not have, thus, I will be somewhat a pioneer and power player. This new company is very eager and very happy to have me, as they should be. I do rock at what I do and I can run circles around others. Or so I think...
As the transitioning, I will be doing a longer commute until our house sells or hubbies company buys it from us (within 60 days). Our new house is set to close in mid September. We are getting a brand new spanking house and I am excited about that. Our new mortgage rate is going to be $75 cheaper than our current home plus we get a new home and 600 more sq feet. It's a ticky tacky but we will make it our own. We will live about 5 minutes from some swinger friends but our relationship is purely vanilla now that I highly doubt if we will hit it with them one day. Humm, though I guess we will cross that bridge when we come to it.
When it concerns swinging I wonder how it's going to work in the future. Not that we are even discussing it but the thoughts are there. Right now, we are somewhat anonymous in our community. We rarely run into others and we just do our thing. In our new community, it's smaller. You know the type of community that everyone know everyone else's business. In fact, my husband has coworkers who live right down the street from us and they already know we are buying the home before anyone else.
Our friends swing with others who have kids on the same sports teams and other various community activities. We've seen them sexting back and forth while at a soccer game with their fellow friends. I don't know if I could do that. It's like "yeah, I fucked you last night but now I see you in full mommy mode at the game". I couldn't imagine in the future going to my son's school and seeing a dad/mom I was with the week before. What about if people talk?....they tend to always do....lots of risks. I like being anonymous...I like others not knowing my business unless I share. So how do people do it? My kind of fun is being anonymous at a party and just letting things flow. We love not knowing others. Our friends have a group of 10-20 couples who have all been with each other. That semi freaks me out, like "hey I was with them, susie was with them, john was with them, etc". That just seems too close to me. We giggled last night that the friends will probably stop inviting us to their parties now that we are a few minutes away....we'll see.
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Getting there.....slowly :)
I am wrapping things up right now and I am in that phase of saying goodbye to some amazing people in my life. I'm a pretty lucky gal because I have been touched by so many. I was breaking the news to some people I work with and have had several break down at the news. We cry together and I infuse them with positivism noting "you will be all right" "you can do it...look at all the progress that you have done, it wasn't me" and I believe that. I believe that the move is going to be good for me know. When looking at the large picture, potentially I have the impact of becoming stronger, more influential in my position because I have something to offer that no one does. It's kind of nice to have a feeling of being a power player. I can really do some shaping to the landscape.
The added bonus is that my commute is now knocked down to half of what I was doing, my son will be 10 minutes away from work, and the pace is going to be so much different. Right now, all I know is RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN. Though I get paid a ton for it. My new position, not so much but it sounds like my new pace will be slow slow slow. My quality of life is going to be better.
The benefits of all, I get more time with my family, commute time is cut in half, my son is 10 minutes away so I can visit him on my lunch hour, and life is going to slow down. My new house is twice the size of my old one, it's brand spanking new, and the payment is going to be $60 less than what it is now. Funny....
So thanks for putting up with me. I am in a good spot looking forward to new adventures and getting a new me back. Healthy lifestyle back so that I can be the best I can be for Mr. Learning because he deserves it since I have been so disconnected lately.
The added bonus is that my commute is now knocked down to half of what I was doing, my son will be 10 minutes away from work, and the pace is going to be so much different. Right now, all I know is RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN. Though I get paid a ton for it. My new position, not so much but it sounds like my new pace will be slow slow slow. My quality of life is going to be better.
The benefits of all, I get more time with my family, commute time is cut in half, my son is 10 minutes away so I can visit him on my lunch hour, and life is going to slow down. My new house is twice the size of my old one, it's brand spanking new, and the payment is going to be $60 less than what it is now. Funny....
So thanks for putting up with me. I am in a good spot looking forward to new adventures and getting a new me back. Healthy lifestyle back so that I can be the best I can be for Mr. Learning because he deserves it since I have been so disconnected lately.
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
You know in three months...
In three months, my life is going to look different. The limbo of the last two years will possibly be gone. We will be living in a new city, new job for me, new home, new daycare for our son, and hopefully a new outlook.
Life.....has.....been......challenging. I've shut down. In almost every sense. I'm numb. I don't do well with change. I never have. It's my personality and my quirk about myself. I crave structure, routine, and structure again. While others crave new beginnings, I always cling to my present, fearful at times of what the future may bring. So I am pressing forward. I know if I cling to what I currently have now, it will not be that way in the future.
I need to be more flexible, more open. I landed a decent job, very family friendly, and flexible. Pressure will hopefully less and my quality of life will increase.
With all of the stuff going on, I have emotionally shut myself down. Sex is essentially non-existent. That's an issue. I'm so out of touch with myself that I am not connecting well with Mr. Learning. So here's to three months and hopefully I will have something wonderful to report and I will wake up to happiness again.
Life.....has.....been......challenging. I've shut down. In almost every sense. I'm numb. I don't do well with change. I never have. It's my personality and my quirk about myself. I crave structure, routine, and structure again. While others crave new beginnings, I always cling to my present, fearful at times of what the future may bring. So I am pressing forward. I know if I cling to what I currently have now, it will not be that way in the future.
I need to be more flexible, more open. I landed a decent job, very family friendly, and flexible. Pressure will hopefully less and my quality of life will increase.
With all of the stuff going on, I have emotionally shut myself down. Sex is essentially non-existent. That's an issue. I'm so out of touch with myself that I am not connecting well with Mr. Learning. So here's to three months and hopefully I will have something wonderful to report and I will wake up to happiness again.
Friday, April 27, 2012
Vanilla: I have been meaning to write but life has been escaping me lately. Which can be a good thing. My pacing has been no stop for about a year now. Lately, I've decided to slow it down some and make some simple changes of what I can control and what I cannot. I think the largest area that I let go is myself. I was in such a rush last year to get my body back that when it was not going that way, I gave up on myself. I started getting into this cycling of eating crappy food which lead to me feeling like crap, which led into other feelings. The other issue laying heavily on my mind is the whole job situation of my husband. I was doing everything I could to make the situation better for him. I realized lately that he is the key, not me.
I have been doing a better job at controlling myself. I'm eating better again and it feels great. It feels healthy and I love that. I also let the job search go. If the other opportunity does not present itself then my husband will have to make some changes. I will support him in any manner but he needs to step up now and give me some direction.
I am also letting go of the old me and trying to integrate the new me into someone I can recognize. Becoming a new mom at 35 can be a bit of a struggle and challenge. I am recognizing that I can't do it all nor would I want to. I am also learning who I want to become. This stage in motherhood is wonderful. I love what my son is blooming into. He's a feisty little monkey with a personality. He's very determined and I can tell he is strong headed like mom. This is getting fun and the worrying about being a good parent is subsiding.
Swinger: I will be a better swinger in the future after I start attending to my vanilla issues. I need to really start attending to my sexual self somewhat. I have been neglectful :(
I have been doing a better job at controlling myself. I'm eating better again and it feels great. It feels healthy and I love that. I also let the job search go. If the other opportunity does not present itself then my husband will have to make some changes. I will support him in any manner but he needs to step up now and give me some direction.
I am also letting go of the old me and trying to integrate the new me into someone I can recognize. Becoming a new mom at 35 can be a bit of a struggle and challenge. I am recognizing that I can't do it all nor would I want to. I am also learning who I want to become. This stage in motherhood is wonderful. I love what my son is blooming into. He's a feisty little monkey with a personality. He's very determined and I can tell he is strong headed like mom. This is getting fun and the worrying about being a good parent is subsiding.
Swinger: I will be a better swinger in the future after I start attending to my vanilla issues. I need to really start attending to my sexual self somewhat. I have been neglectful :(
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Enough of the scrambling...
Vanilla and Swinger: One thing I can take stock in is that my overall vanilla confidence in my skills and abilities is top notch at this time. I'm good at what I do, really good. People like me, they like my confidence, and I am so good, I can talk people into buying into what I have to offer usually with no difficulties. The ones that can't buy into me are usually the ones trying to hid things from me yet, I know it, can feel it, and it frustrates me. I recently took a meyers briggs personality profile test of myself and I am such an INFJ it's not even funny. That is me to a tee. I usually have such killer instincts that it's not even funny. That's where it gives me trouble in the swinger environment. I have such a high level of darn intuition, I can peg people pretty damn good. I can tell if there is strife, if the couple is up to no good, or some other strange situation. It's happened every time that a couple is not suited for us. Though listening to the gut has often been difficult. The one thing about this process that I have learned is that I always chalked up my anxiety for being scared but really, I am now wondering if it's not the anxiety but it's purely the instincts kicking in telling me to have us run. So needless to say, no more questioning it, it is what it is.
We have been able to spend some time with our swinger friends lately. I am always truly amazed and in awe of how both couples do things right. They have it down to a science with swinging. Swinging is kind of a science. Their balance in the lifestyle is amazing. They are amazing people, super parents, and amazing partners. Their views on swinging is kind of different though. One couple is more relationship swingers where they enjoy building a friendship with others. The other couple is go with the flow, it's all about fun and experience. I can only hope that if we get back into the swing of things, we can find our flow.
Vanilla: I am so shut down emotionally lately that I have blinders on. I can just see what is in front of me right now. Big picture stuff has been out of the picture for a while. The past week was tough but I have a plan now. Huge plans. I have a PLAN A and a PLAN B. Both scenarios are win win. I'm ready to take my life back and kick it into high gear. Enough scrambling...
We have been able to spend some time with our swinger friends lately. I am always truly amazed and in awe of how both couples do things right. They have it down to a science with swinging. Swinging is kind of a science. Their balance in the lifestyle is amazing. They are amazing people, super parents, and amazing partners. Their views on swinging is kind of different though. One couple is more relationship swingers where they enjoy building a friendship with others. The other couple is go with the flow, it's all about fun and experience. I can only hope that if we get back into the swing of things, we can find our flow.
Vanilla: I am so shut down emotionally lately that I have blinders on. I can just see what is in front of me right now. Big picture stuff has been out of the picture for a while. The past week was tough but I have a plan now. Huge plans. I have a PLAN A and a PLAN B. Both scenarios are win win. I'm ready to take my life back and kick it into high gear. Enough scrambling...
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Always go with your gut!
Vanilla: I don't think I have ever experienced a week like this week in my whole entire life. All I can say us at the end of the week, it all worked out. I knew I had some anxiety about this new job. I thought it was just the 22% cut in pay, the added responsibilities but in the end it was my gut telling me to run from this place. I had already given notice to work. Luckily, I have been communicating the whole time with my boss what was going on. Needless to say, the new job is a clusterfuck and I am not going to be a part of it. My work place knows what is going on. They know I have one more interview at an amazing place. If that is not a go, it's on Mr. Learning. What a week though. Stupid fucktards at new company were willing to throw me to the lions. Life is better though. The universe looked out for me and it pays to be an amazing employee.
Sunday, March 18, 2012
And so it begins...
Vanilla: The massive decluttering is occurring in the Learning household. We are getting the knick knacks packed up. My living room is not completely down and there is no evidence of any emotional attachment is in the room. Everything is out besides a lamp, clock, two small vases, and the bose radio. Mr. Learning did some wainscoting for the entry today and it looks sharp and he repainted the trim in the entrance way. We were busy! Our goal is to get the house set up to sell on June 1st so we will see if this can happen. I called my sister to get some help so they are going to come in one weekend and she will care for baby learning while my brother in law helps with the basement. Our basement is a major cluster fuck and I am not ready to tackle that yet. We figure we are going to attack the main floor, then move upstairs, attic, and then down. I'm trying to convince Mr. Learning that we need a dumpster but he is not buying it. He is convinced that we can put everything in the hirby kirby during the next six weeks. Humm...he's being cheap.
I gave formal notice on Thursday. References were checked and they came back amazing. I had my drug test on Friday so it's real now. I get to meet some of my new coworkers next week because they want me to meet the team, which I think is kind of odd but the past worker left on a sour note and there's a lot of anxiety of me coming in. I will win them with my smile. The one awesome thing that swinging has done for me is to go in confident even though I am terrified on the inside. Thank you swinging.
We also have to gear up and find a new daycare. I am sad about this because I love baby learnings daycare. They are terrific and amazing people. I have a few places that were recommended so we will check them out. I know another good place is out there for him.
Originally, we were going to live in Mr. Learnings parents home while they were in Florida. Then we would live there Mon-Thursday when they got back but they did a massive no-no this week which pissed Mr. Learning off. They told his sister that we were moving to the area. Mr. Learning wanted to tell her but when he found out that his brother in law was just dx with colon cancer, he decided to wait. Then he found out that mother in law told so needless to say, she has poor boundaries so we will not be living with them. Which makes me feel better because I don't need a hovering mother in law right now.
I am getting excited about our new life. I can't imagine having two more hours a day. It doesn't even seem real that it is happening. We started to look at houses and we are not too sure on what we are going to do. We have a home right now that has a ton of character so we thing we are going to go with a new build because we don't want to compare this hours to the new home. I would have some trouble getting over that. So it's better off having a new start.
Swinger: Our friends had a blast at hedo. They loved it and connected with a ton of people. That is awesome for that. They noted that they would do it in a heart beat again. It sounded like they really connected with one couple so good for them. Though, they noted that they are now ready to put the lifestyle on the back burner for a bit because it was some major fun but they are burnt out. That is something that I never would expect to hear from them. Sometimes it's not good to have too much of a good thing.
I gave formal notice on Thursday. References were checked and they came back amazing. I had my drug test on Friday so it's real now. I get to meet some of my new coworkers next week because they want me to meet the team, which I think is kind of odd but the past worker left on a sour note and there's a lot of anxiety of me coming in. I will win them with my smile. The one awesome thing that swinging has done for me is to go in confident even though I am terrified on the inside. Thank you swinging.
We also have to gear up and find a new daycare. I am sad about this because I love baby learnings daycare. They are terrific and amazing people. I have a few places that were recommended so we will check them out. I know another good place is out there for him.
Originally, we were going to live in Mr. Learnings parents home while they were in Florida. Then we would live there Mon-Thursday when they got back but they did a massive no-no this week which pissed Mr. Learning off. They told his sister that we were moving to the area. Mr. Learning wanted to tell her but when he found out that his brother in law was just dx with colon cancer, he decided to wait. Then he found out that mother in law told so needless to say, she has poor boundaries so we will not be living with them. Which makes me feel better because I don't need a hovering mother in law right now.
I am getting excited about our new life. I can't imagine having two more hours a day. It doesn't even seem real that it is happening. We started to look at houses and we are not too sure on what we are going to do. We have a home right now that has a ton of character so we thing we are going to go with a new build because we don't want to compare this hours to the new home. I would have some trouble getting over that. So it's better off having a new start.
Swinger: Our friends had a blast at hedo. They loved it and connected with a ton of people. That is awesome for that. They noted that they would do it in a heart beat again. It sounded like they really connected with one couple so good for them. Though, they noted that they are now ready to put the lifestyle on the back burner for a bit because it was some major fun but they are burnt out. That is something that I never would expect to hear from them. Sometimes it's not good to have too much of a good thing.
Saturday, March 10, 2012
I feel like I am breaking up with someone who I am still passionate about...
Vanilla: The job is mine. I got a verbal offer from the new company pending reference checks and a clear drug screen, it will be formally mine.
Funny thing is that I got a call noting that I was the 2nd candidate for the position but they had to go with the other individual because she had direct experience compared to myself. I was okay with that and noted to the HR person "No problem at all. You all need to do what is best for yourself and the company but keep me in mind if anything comes up....blah...blah...blah..." Two days later, I get a call with the offer. The other candidate withdrew due to health issues. I told her that I would get back with her on Friday. Then I cried....for two days.
I love my job. I love my family more though. With my husband's company closing and relocating the drive with a child in our life would not work. I am marketable and can hang my hat any where I want, he is but he isn't. This is the best because we have family in the new city, friends, and Mr. Learning grew up there. We learned this week we need our supports around us because we had an uber sick child and ended up in the ER with him.
But I still feel like I am breaking up with someone who I love dearly. I am a pretty closed person and spending over 12 years with my current job makes be sad that I am leaving because those people know me (well, know me in the vanilla sense). The new job is more intense, a higher level of responsibility, and it is out of my comfort zone but I know I will rock because I am cool like that :)
I am still sad...but happy because in six months, life is going to be better. The next six months are going to be non stop getting the house prepared to sell, find a new home, and move. But we will get through it. So maybe life will be easier? I hope so. The last year and a half has been nothing but limbo and now we have a plan.
I am a girl who always needs a plan. Planning is good!
Swinger: Funny, I had to defend a poly family this week. A close coworker encountered one and she was so disgusted. "How can he be a good dad when he can screw another woman other than his wife". I explained to her how that in the long run, it's not up to us to judge that. As long as the spouse is okay with it, then that is all that matters. I had a few looks but I also had some support. Man, she would die if she ever found out what I used to be up to....
Funny thing is that I got a call noting that I was the 2nd candidate for the position but they had to go with the other individual because she had direct experience compared to myself. I was okay with that and noted to the HR person "No problem at all. You all need to do what is best for yourself and the company but keep me in mind if anything comes up....blah...blah...blah..." Two days later, I get a call with the offer. The other candidate withdrew due to health issues. I told her that I would get back with her on Friday. Then I cried....for two days.
I love my job. I love my family more though. With my husband's company closing and relocating the drive with a child in our life would not work. I am marketable and can hang my hat any where I want, he is but he isn't. This is the best because we have family in the new city, friends, and Mr. Learning grew up there. We learned this week we need our supports around us because we had an uber sick child and ended up in the ER with him.
But I still feel like I am breaking up with someone who I love dearly. I am a pretty closed person and spending over 12 years with my current job makes be sad that I am leaving because those people know me (well, know me in the vanilla sense). The new job is more intense, a higher level of responsibility, and it is out of my comfort zone but I know I will rock because I am cool like that :)
I am still sad...but happy because in six months, life is going to be better. The next six months are going to be non stop getting the house prepared to sell, find a new home, and move. But we will get through it. So maybe life will be easier? I hope so. The last year and a half has been nothing but limbo and now we have a plan.
I am a girl who always needs a plan. Planning is good!
Swinger: Funny, I had to defend a poly family this week. A close coworker encountered one and she was so disgusted. "How can he be a good dad when he can screw another woman other than his wife". I explained to her how that in the long run, it's not up to us to judge that. As long as the spouse is okay with it, then that is all that matters. I had a few looks but I also had some support. Man, she would die if she ever found out what I used to be up to....
Saturday, February 25, 2012
We continue to get sick over here. It totally sucks because I am a healthy person but with the lack of sleep, my immune system is down. Thus, I am getting sick all the time :( which makes me sad. I know it's going to get smoother. There's a light at the end of the tunnel.
This job hunt is an interesting process. I am amazed on how long it takes the process now. When I got hired at my job back in 2000, I got a face to face, then a second interview, and boom, I was hired. Now, it's a phone interview, a face to face, another face to face, and then more waiting. These companies have it good right now because they can take their time to select the best candidate out there. They don't have to move quickly, it's about getting the best. My contact says I am still in the running but at this point, I'm so less enthusiastic about the job because the time lapse makes me go blah....not interested...but I can't have that attitude because I want things better for Mr. Learning. The other job interview went okay via phone. The actual job would not start until fall and I would only have to work 6.5 months a year with full benefits and other countless perks. They will let me know if I get a face to face next month and then I will have to compete for a spot in the final three. This would be an amazing opportunity and I really want this job so wish me luck.
Swinger: Of course nothing is going on here. I appreciate living vicariously through you all. Though I have to admit, I can't wait until the inlaws are back in state so they can watch baby learning so we can go on a date. Right now, my only fantasy is to hit a hotel and spend the weekend by getting some sleep...if you put an event in the middle of it, it would be icing on the cake! I miss being around like minded people.
I am also saddened by all the leaking of Stephen Hawking being at a club. I think it's awesome that he is out there going to clubs, but the lack of confidentiality is what saddens me. Why are people not following the swinger code. Why bring this up? Why are lifestyle people talking about this? If you see someone popular, keep the mouth shut and smile....come on swingers!
Saturday, February 11, 2012
You know you are vanilla when....
Swinger: Well, you know you are truly heading down the vanilla route when a friends so you some pictures of hedo and all you can see is an old dude getting sucked off in tube socks and think "damn, that dude is as old as my dad. I wouldn't want to see that happening". My friend was shocked that I didn't find it hot at all. It was like "no, that is not hot....pictures of guys of my dad's age getting sucked off is not for me man. That would make me run from hedo". I must be vanilla. I can't get into the mind set "wow, look at them screwing". I was more fixated on the ages. You know that is a sign of returning to vanilla probably. When you are swinging, I don't recall really noticing people's ages too much. Though it is funny that is all I saw when I saw the text.
Our friends are in hedo next month for the first time and they are going alone so they are trying to meet up with some people via the websites so they can get a feel for the place. That can be smart but that can be in a way, a pain. What happens if they meet some people online only to meet them at the place and they annoy you for the whole trip? I would be petrified at that. It's hard to tell people, "hey, you are nice but I am not swinging with you". We never really mastered that one. We'll see how it goes for them but you have to laugh.
Our friends are in hedo next month for the first time and they are going alone so they are trying to meet up with some people via the websites so they can get a feel for the place. That can be smart but that can be in a way, a pain. What happens if they meet some people online only to meet them at the place and they annoy you for the whole trip? I would be petrified at that. It's hard to tell people, "hey, you are nice but I am not swinging with you". We never really mastered that one. We'll see how it goes for them but you have to laugh.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
What are the chances...
Vanilla: What are the chances that both my husband and I get sick? Argh, what a weekend. Mr. Learning and I were struggling with the worst cabin fever ever. We were chomping at the bit to get out because it's been months since we have done anything fun...well, we are talking about vanilla fun that is...swinger fun, well that almost seems like ancient history. We started trying to think of things to do. Go to Frakenmuth (which is a killer German town in Michigan), hit some Breweries, priceline a room in Chicago, or visit some relatives. After a process of elimination, we decided the cheap wise thing is to make a trip to see a family member. Both of our folks are wintering down south so that leaves our siblings. I called my sister and her family was sick so we decided to travel out to Detroit to see Mr. Learning's sister. Feeling good, we packed baby learning in the car and headed out. We had a fabulous evening and we got to chill out some. Everything was going great then.....baby learning woke up every hour on the hour in his new pack and play. Granted now this is a brand new pack and play because I thought my last one was junk and prevented him from sleep. Guess what? The new one did not make a difference. That little guy does not do well at all in it. He rolls all over it and when he hits a side he wakes up screaming. The only thing that I can think of is that my little guy is really tall for 11 months. He's about 33 inches right now. Which is in the 100% percentile of height. So I was getting up non-stop. Then in the middle of that, I start to get flushed and start getting the chills. Then Mr. Learning comes to bed and he has the chills as well. I thought "oh crap we have the flu". We make it to the morning and baby learning is up a 7am and I take him downstairs where I find my 9 year old nephew up and rearing to go. I cannot stay focused. About 9:30, my sister in law wakes up and luckily she was willing to watch baby learning. I go back to bed and I am out for the count. I sleep for a few hours and Mr. Learning is barely functioning. I'm doing a tad better but I feel like a steam roller flattened me...and we have a 3.5 hour trip home. We were finally able to pull it together and we journeyed home. Went to bed at 7:30 that night and slept. I fair rough but go to work on Monday (I've only called in twice in the past 12 years at my job). Mr. Learning goes in to see the doctor and it's strep. Yup...lucky us, we have strep. We figured out that baby must have been the carrier because when he was sick two weeks ago, he must of had strep because so far, the little man is not falling ill. This totally bites. Right when I get my grove on too. I was able to hit the gym four days last week. Now I am out until Thursday :( boo!
Though the only good that is coming from this is that our appetites have been so poor, all I can manage to eat is soup and smoothies. I wanted to lose weight but I wasn't expecting this. Maybe I need to rephrase what I ask for...
Regardless, we have both decided that traveling with the baby is not in our cards. As much as we like to get out and stay overnight, this is not going to happen. Getting up on the hour every hour does not trump the pros of getting out of the house. We have a mini outing to Mackinaw in June that we will have to decide if baby is coming or not. Maybe it's his age but how in the heck to people travel with younger kids? At least in the upcoming months, we have inlaws that can watch the little guy. We will figure it out...maybe :)
Swinger: Friends are going to Hedo next month. So happy for them! I was doing some peaking at the resorts and it sounds interesting. I would definitely go sometime but we would have to stay on the prude side and go exploring on the wild side. Our friends are more exhibitionists/nudists so they will do terrific. For Mr. Learning and I, we like clothing. I can't ever see myself walking around naked...tried it once and it wasn't my cup of tea. In my book, too much naked is not a good thing. When getting with people in person, it's kind of nice to "unwrap" them of their clothes. Looking at their wanker right away might be a deterrent because I also like to see what's underneath...sometimes there are surprises but their personality won out so it doesn't matter. One of the hottest partners we have had, the guy had a dick the size of my pinkie but he was so hot, it didn't matter. If I knew that ahead of time, that might have been a "no". Clothing is good! At least in my world it is...
Though the only good that is coming from this is that our appetites have been so poor, all I can manage to eat is soup and smoothies. I wanted to lose weight but I wasn't expecting this. Maybe I need to rephrase what I ask for...
Regardless, we have both decided that traveling with the baby is not in our cards. As much as we like to get out and stay overnight, this is not going to happen. Getting up on the hour every hour does not trump the pros of getting out of the house. We have a mini outing to Mackinaw in June that we will have to decide if baby is coming or not. Maybe it's his age but how in the heck to people travel with younger kids? At least in the upcoming months, we have inlaws that can watch the little guy. We will figure it out...maybe :)
Swinger: Friends are going to Hedo next month. So happy for them! I was doing some peaking at the resorts and it sounds interesting. I would definitely go sometime but we would have to stay on the prude side and go exploring on the wild side. Our friends are more exhibitionists/nudists so they will do terrific. For Mr. Learning and I, we like clothing. I can't ever see myself walking around naked...tried it once and it wasn't my cup of tea. In my book, too much naked is not a good thing. When getting with people in person, it's kind of nice to "unwrap" them of their clothes. Looking at their wanker right away might be a deterrent because I also like to see what's underneath...sometimes there are surprises but their personality won out so it doesn't matter. One of the hottest partners we have had, the guy had a dick the size of my pinkie but he was so hot, it didn't matter. If I knew that ahead of time, that might have been a "no". Clothing is good! At least in my world it is...
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Wow, what a difference a week makes...
Vanilla: I hit a low point last week. I have to say if that was my rock bottom, I don't want to be visiting that place again. Saturday morning was awful. I had my weigh in at Jenny and they asked how I was doing and I'm like "Hey, I'm not going to bull crap you. I feel like total shit this morning and no matter what you say, I know it's me. There's no spinning my behavior. I'm just floating right now. I'm not meeting my goals, and I don't care". The sad thing is that I did not care wither or not I was meeting my goals. I was so tired from baby learning not sleeping from teething, I was awful, emotional, and sad. She went onto encourage Mr. Learning and I to go on a vacation. Oh dear girl, how I would love to but that's not an option right now. I left there in a daze. I also was totally disgusted by myself. Then I ended up breaking down with Mr. Learning. I just started to bawl when he put up our baby gets and put them six inches off the floor. Now, I normally would not care but I was like WTF. You are the freaking smartest man that I know but honey, really? six inches off the floor, do you not see our son trying to hang off those? So I started to just sob about how I hate my life, I'm overwhelmed, I feel stress about finding a job, and I am so sleep deprived that I couldn't function. I told him to get out of the house for a bit so I would have time to think and calm down. He did. I got some clarity, calmed down, and got centered. I chatted with Mr. Learning on what I need right now. I need some support, I need sleep, and I need to merge my old life with my new life. Then the universe started to be kinder. It knew I needed some support. BB from Our open marriage adventures texted me (you will never know how much I truly needed that support) and my old friend from high school who I spoke about here. Something began to click. I started to think about my old goals of fitness and eating better.
Then on Monday, I got to sit in with a behavioralist. I watched him talk to this person and I was in awe because in a way, what he was saying to her, is what I needed to hear. I had this light bulb moment of that my life during the last two years has been operating out of fear and being scared. I truly have been operating out of fear lately so I needed to change, get control back. Where I have control is this job thing. Okay, I truly love my job. I love it. It's awesome. I am respected and unless if I get this other killer job, I am not leaving. We will have to work with it. The other thing, I want to work out. Now, I cannot control if my son sleeps all night, but I can control when I got to bed. I'm settling in at 10:15 and waking up at 5:20 to go to the gym. And I am back to logging the points with Weight Watchers.
Hubman, Josh, Mr. No Name you guys were right. You both have been saying take a step back, breathe. It's taken me a while but breathing calmly is now occurring.
Looking back, I fell into this trap after baby learning. I had a good flow going in the beginning because I wanted to have our old swinging life back. I wanted to be trim for that. I wanted to hit the lifestyle again before fall because that is where the fun was. Well, those were the wrong reasons for me. I'm totally being selfish right now because I want to make changes for me, so I can be a better me, a better wife, and mother. I'm getting my flow back and it feels great. I do love my life and what it can look like in the future.
Thanks for your support all.
Swinger: Well, heck we all know there's nothing going on it that area but I do have to share that I was totally picking up a cute cop last week. Damn, she was a cutie. Glasses, pony tail, killer smile, and some curves. We were bantering back and forth and it was awesome dialogue. That's never happened before for me. Humm, I still can bring it with my cute smile :)
Then on Monday, I got to sit in with a behavioralist. I watched him talk to this person and I was in awe because in a way, what he was saying to her, is what I needed to hear. I had this light bulb moment of that my life during the last two years has been operating out of fear and being scared. I truly have been operating out of fear lately so I needed to change, get control back. Where I have control is this job thing. Okay, I truly love my job. I love it. It's awesome. I am respected and unless if I get this other killer job, I am not leaving. We will have to work with it. The other thing, I want to work out. Now, I cannot control if my son sleeps all night, but I can control when I got to bed. I'm settling in at 10:15 and waking up at 5:20 to go to the gym. And I am back to logging the points with Weight Watchers.
Hubman, Josh, Mr. No Name you guys were right. You both have been saying take a step back, breathe. It's taken me a while but breathing calmly is now occurring.
Looking back, I fell into this trap after baby learning. I had a good flow going in the beginning because I wanted to have our old swinging life back. I wanted to be trim for that. I wanted to hit the lifestyle again before fall because that is where the fun was. Well, those were the wrong reasons for me. I'm totally being selfish right now because I want to make changes for me, so I can be a better me, a better wife, and mother. I'm getting my flow back and it feels great. I do love my life and what it can look like in the future.
Thanks for your support all.
Swinger: Well, heck we all know there's nothing going on it that area but I do have to share that I was totally picking up a cute cop last week. Damn, she was a cutie. Glasses, pony tail, killer smile, and some curves. We were bantering back and forth and it was awesome dialogue. That's never happened before for me. Humm, I still can bring it with my cute smile :)
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
I am not digging myself lately...
Vanilla: Or better off being said, I am not liking the person who I am turning into. I feel like my life has been on this roller coaster lately full of high's and low's. Lately, more low's than high but I honestly feel like I have been sinking slowly into a person I don't necessarily dig. It's hard being this new mom who is supposed to be full of confidence, energy, and spunk. Lately, I've been somewhat scared, lack of energy, and just generally dragging. I want more out of my day. I want to have that burst of energy again and that zest. I'm tired of floating. Maybe this is my rock bottom but I want things to change.
I have good intentions, really I do. I tell myself I am going to "start the gym next week", or "I am going to log my points tomorrow", or "I will not worry anymore". The frank reality, is that I haven't started the gym again, I haven't logged my points, and I am worrying about everything :( It's this endless hamster wheel.
I know my lack of doing better is tied into my emotions completely. I stress eat, I avoid, and I embrace denial...(yes, I may want to look into the mirror and not acknowledge that my muffin tops are there but really, who am I kidding, they are). Yesterday, I went to a meeting unprepared but luckily a coworker saved myself. I ran the meeting and was a tad scattered. Got a text in the meeting that baby learning may have foot and mouth so we have to take him in to the doctor then meet my husband at the doctor to find out that he has an unknown fever. Then I stop at Sonic, grab a huge drink, burger, and some chili cheese tots. This is not me. The old me would have never gone into a meeting so unprepared or stuffed my body with foods because I am not doing well with emotions. It's got to stop.
I am writing this as more of a confession of what I have been doing. As today is a new day and I have goals to accomplish. I'm tired of avoiding what I need to do. It's about time I figure things out because if I continue on the route I am on, I am so not going to like that person at all. She is not reflective of who I want to be. So here I go....
I have good intentions, really I do. I tell myself I am going to "start the gym next week", or "I am going to log my points tomorrow", or "I will not worry anymore". The frank reality, is that I haven't started the gym again, I haven't logged my points, and I am worrying about everything :( It's this endless hamster wheel.
I know my lack of doing better is tied into my emotions completely. I stress eat, I avoid, and I embrace denial...(yes, I may want to look into the mirror and not acknowledge that my muffin tops are there but really, who am I kidding, they are). Yesterday, I went to a meeting unprepared but luckily a coworker saved myself. I ran the meeting and was a tad scattered. Got a text in the meeting that baby learning may have foot and mouth so we have to take him in to the doctor then meet my husband at the doctor to find out that he has an unknown fever. Then I stop at Sonic, grab a huge drink, burger, and some chili cheese tots. This is not me. The old me would have never gone into a meeting so unprepared or stuffed my body with foods because I am not doing well with emotions. It's got to stop.
I am writing this as more of a confession of what I have been doing. As today is a new day and I have goals to accomplish. I'm tired of avoiding what I need to do. It's about time I figure things out because if I continue on the route I am on, I am so not going to like that person at all. She is not reflective of who I want to be. So here I go....
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Full moon weeks tick me off :(
Vanilla: I believe there is a direct correlation between the full moon and people's behavior. Really, there must be because it was a strange week this week. I'll start off with the challenging. Work. Yup, not fun with dealing with outside companies who are supposed to be on your side yet their ego's get into the way. They don't get that we all are working for a common goal. They think their way is the only way. Unfortunately, their way is full of gaps and when they eventually get caught with their pants down, well, lets just say I don't want to be a part of it so I spoke my mind. Nicely of course and was very professional but now my boss has to have a meeting next week because of what happened. I pray that she has my back. If she doesn't, it's sad because I am right on this. I offered to meet with the people who complained but instead of addressing it with me, they are going straight to the boss. Fuckers. So I feel I have no recourse but in the end, I guess karma will come to bite them in the ass. So that's the shitty thing that went on with me this week. I am really good, I mean really good, at what I do. I know my job, I know it well and when people question my ethics, I get really pissed off.
The good: I think I gave a good interview. It lasted about 2 hours. It was an interactive interview where I was asking the president of the company questions and she was asking met questions. I like what they are doing. I really think that they are a respectable firm making change in people's lives I loved her energy, attitude, and style. She told me at the end that if I am a match, she will bring me in to meet the team because there is some anxiety about getting a new manager because they are all seasoned staff. I told her that I am very open to it since if we all do not jive with each other, I would want to know because I expect some harmony within the unit and if not, I will respectfully decline to join the team. I will keep you posted if I get a 3 interview.
Swinger: Humm, as usual, nothing but hey, that's okay. We've seen the regulars so they keep us on the up to date drama in the community. There's always a bunch so I'm glad we are out of that aspect. Though, I totally miss the social aspect. There's a big party for Mardi Gras and they asked if we wanted to go but we declined. Since we have no childcare and are not big fans of leaving our child alone with a sitter yet, we will not go. It's nice to hear their excitement about meeting couples and hitting it off.
Humm...my friend Josh @ The journal to a sexually open marriage had a full swap last night. I am so excited for them as Josh has met my doppelganger (minus the evil) and fucked the shit out of her last night. And of course, my friend Hubman has been able to have two full swaps recently. You guys rock. I'll spend tonight catching up with my other blog friends but you guys rock and of course give me inspiration that one day too, we will swing again.
The good: I think I gave a good interview. It lasted about 2 hours. It was an interactive interview where I was asking the president of the company questions and she was asking met questions. I like what they are doing. I really think that they are a respectable firm making change in people's lives I loved her energy, attitude, and style. She told me at the end that if I am a match, she will bring me in to meet the team because there is some anxiety about getting a new manager because they are all seasoned staff. I told her that I am very open to it since if we all do not jive with each other, I would want to know because I expect some harmony within the unit and if not, I will respectfully decline to join the team. I will keep you posted if I get a 3 interview.
Swinger: Humm, as usual, nothing but hey, that's okay. We've seen the regulars so they keep us on the up to date drama in the community. There's always a bunch so I'm glad we are out of that aspect. Though, I totally miss the social aspect. There's a big party for Mardi Gras and they asked if we wanted to go but we declined. Since we have no childcare and are not big fans of leaving our child alone with a sitter yet, we will not go. It's nice to hear their excitement about meeting couples and hitting it off.
Humm...my friend Josh @ The journal to a sexually open marriage had a full swap last night. I am so excited for them as Josh has met my doppelganger (minus the evil) and fucked the shit out of her last night. And of course, my friend Hubman has been able to have two full swaps recently. You guys rock. I'll spend tonight catching up with my other blog friends but you guys rock and of course give me inspiration that one day too, we will swing again.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Now that was quick...
Vanilla: I got a call for an interview! That was quick. HR left me a message and I called them back but got a voicemail. Woot Woot! I'm rusty on my interviewing skills. It's been close to 12 years since I have had to interview so if anyone has any pointers send them my way.
Swinger: Nothing like getting dirty texts from friends...it's always a pick me up. Mr. Regular sent us some nice pics out of the blue so those are always welcomed. Life is good!!!
Swinger: Nothing like getting dirty texts from friends...it's always a pick me up. Mr. Regular sent us some nice pics out of the blue so those are always welcomed. Life is good!!!
Monday, January 2, 2012
Happy 2012 to you!
Vanilla life: 2 killer resumes are out so wish me luck. It would be nice to hear back on one because it would entail working at a university. I'm totally what they are looking for so lets see if they bite on my resume. The other of course is a supervisor role so I'm also semi-qualified for that. I'll keep you posted on my progress because I'm open to change. It just started on the trip home at Christmas. I know my priorities now, I want more time with my family and for myself. In the long run, I would have to make this decision anyways so way not make it know when Mr. Learning's company will pay for it?
The holidays flew past. It didn't feel like Christmas. Maybe it was just our general tiredness or just being 1st time parents but we both have been in this fog and we are ready to bust out of it. So we are gearing up for making some choices in the nutrition department. Hubman had a really good video on 23.5 hours. If you have the time, check it out because it's all about the importance of exercise. Mr. Learning got his bike ready in the basement to do some indoor biking at night and I'm gearing back to go to the gym. It's been a long time and I need to do it in the morning. Evenings don't work because I want to be home and I see friends there that want to chat. I don't want to be rude but when I go to the gym, I want to work out and come home. I'm a serious workout person so I'm in my own zone. We also bought one of those vitamix machines at Costco this weekend. I am one of those people who never gets enough vegetables or fruits within my diet. I've ate more vegetables & fruits in the past few days than I have in two weeks. Though, of course within moderation. I've also been able to track all my points today. This is something that I have not been able to do in a long time because I've been lazy, not accountable, and purely unmotivated in my life. Essentially, I've been hiding and I'm sick of it. I want to come out and play...and be my improved new self because I like myself better now. The weight kept me safe for a while because I've been overwhelmed with all of the change. Now it's about embracing and taking a leap of faith in myself again.
Swinger: A trend I have been noticing lately in my area. WTF is up with people who swing as a couple but they are not married together, and their spouses don't know? I just don't get this. There's been about 3 new profiles on the site noting this. I just don't get this. It just screams drama.
I came across one blog before noting that the people were not going to be policing this but if they knew ahead of time, they would not engage in swinging with the people. I guess if I was at a club, I would assume they would be together. I normally would not ask this nor would Mr. Learning so I would just assume they were together. If we did find out during conversation that they were not a couple, I would say "thanks but no thanks".
The holidays flew past. It didn't feel like Christmas. Maybe it was just our general tiredness or just being 1st time parents but we both have been in this fog and we are ready to bust out of it. So we are gearing up for making some choices in the nutrition department. Hubman had a really good video on 23.5 hours. If you have the time, check it out because it's all about the importance of exercise. Mr. Learning got his bike ready in the basement to do some indoor biking at night and I'm gearing back to go to the gym. It's been a long time and I need to do it in the morning. Evenings don't work because I want to be home and I see friends there that want to chat. I don't want to be rude but when I go to the gym, I want to work out and come home. I'm a serious workout person so I'm in my own zone. We also bought one of those vitamix machines at Costco this weekend. I am one of those people who never gets enough vegetables or fruits within my diet. I've ate more vegetables & fruits in the past few days than I have in two weeks. Though, of course within moderation. I've also been able to track all my points today. This is something that I have not been able to do in a long time because I've been lazy, not accountable, and purely unmotivated in my life. Essentially, I've been hiding and I'm sick of it. I want to come out and play...and be my improved new self because I like myself better now. The weight kept me safe for a while because I've been overwhelmed with all of the change. Now it's about embracing and taking a leap of faith in myself again.
Swinger: A trend I have been noticing lately in my area. WTF is up with people who swing as a couple but they are not married together, and their spouses don't know? I just don't get this. There's been about 3 new profiles on the site noting this. I just don't get this. It just screams drama.
I came across one blog before noting that the people were not going to be policing this but if they knew ahead of time, they would not engage in swinging with the people. I guess if I was at a club, I would assume they would be together. I normally would not ask this nor would Mr. Learning so I would just assume they were together. If we did find out during conversation that they were not a couple, I would say "thanks but no thanks".
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